Ask the Old School Bro

Today’s blog is a collection of reader questions.

 

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Dear Mr.TheBro
My boyfriend was laid off from his job on his day off. All he does all day is sit around binge watching Netflix and playing video games.

I know his confidence is down, but I’m not his mother! What can I do?—Perplexed in Pomona

Dear Perplexed, My immediate thoughts suggest your boyfriend is a classic DYEL (Do you even lift?) If he wasn’t a DYEL he would man up,get his ass in gear and find a new job to support his loved ones and would be spending time at the gym instead. Speculation on my part, he probably lost his job due to being a NUB (non-useful body.)

But back to you, Good News,Easy Day. Get a gym membership to one of the following: A Kettlebell Gym with StrongFirst,RKC or Strength Matters qualified coaches. An old school barbells and chalk gym. Bodybuilding, Powerlifting,Basic Barbell, Olympic Lifting or StrongMan/StrongMaam training. Pick one.  A CrossFit Box with a lengthy training program designed to teach you the exercise fundamentals before you can join the group in WODs or a quality MMA gym.

Get Mobile and Strong. Soon enough you’ll be strong enough to pick up and throw his no- load safe space having sorry a$$ out the door.

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Dear Brofessor, I’ve been married to a wonderful and loving wife for 15 blissful years. Lately she has wanted separate beds. We’re barely in our 40s? What’s going on? – Lonely Beast in Long Island

Dear Lonely Beast, Sounds like you’re due for a cut phase due in part to the increased mass you’ve cultivated over the winter and the natural meat sweats that accompany a dirty bulk.

There simply isn’t enough room in your bed for you, your wife and your gainz. Now is a fine time to dial the calories back creating a deficit and add some High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) into the mix. A nod goes to a basic two-week Atkins break-in period which can also help kick start things. Since all the “good stuff” from training happens during recovery phases I highly recommend dropping some Benjamin’s on a larger top quality bed.

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Dear Broda, After several catastrophically bad business opportunities I have finally found the right one and it will help me earn a comfortable living while helping others in the fight against obesity.

It’s network marketing business (also known as an MLM, its not to be confused with Pyramid Scheme) and although we’ve never met I really think YOU would be a great person to join my team. Are you interested? —Business Boom in Bismarck

Dear Business, I’ll give you the business by saying F’No.

I noted your numerous failed schemes business opportunities and that you put “earn a comfortable living” before “helping others.”  To be interested in selling this product you’d have to be ignorant of dietary interventions,human biology and general nutrition.

I am not that guy. I didn’t spend this many years and the continual amount of money on education that I do to peddle supplements, or in this case the idea of getting others interested in peddling supplements. It’s well established that people who actually know their nutrition and understand how to read and interpret research tend to stay far away from MLM products. It’s pretty apparent why.

There is a reason why you don’t see major thought leader in the widespread fitness and nutrition professions lending their name to these products. It’s not that they hate money, it’s that they have no desire to kill their professional credibility.

In case it hasn’t sunk in yet, F’No.

Chris Shimana is a Las Vegas based Strength Coach,Fitness Educator and Physical Culture enthusiast. He is the online administrator of The Trainers Dojo, an international assemblage of Fitness Professionals and is the problem solving voice of reason behind “Ask the Old School Bro.” His weekly blog My Trainer Chris is seen in more countries than he can count.

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