Personal Trainers that suck (Part 3)

No CE Rx     or      CE Rx

The No corrective exercise/Too much corrective exercise trainer.  This can go several ways:  (1) The trainer does not know anything about corrective exercise and is too lazy to look it up or doesn’t see any value in it.  (2) The trainer does know corrective exercise and fancies themselves as a physical therapist.  Fellow trainers, I believe that there is indeed a balance between none and too much.

Physio

The I’ve got the solution for your Corrective Exercise needs trainer.  The trainer has rehabilitated themselves to some degree, possibly quite successfully, and believes that alone qualifies them to prescribe corrective exercise for you.  Not always a bad thing, but this falls way too close to a one size fits all mentality and exceeding the scope of ability and credentials for me.    I pulled out a tooth of mine when I was 6, I don’t think that qualifies me to practice amateur dentistry.

Spotters

“4..5..You got it bro…9…13…yeah buddy…27..Hells yes…1973”

The Inattentive trainer.  This shouldn’t require explanation, but the fact is your trainer IS responsible for your safety during your session.  Extra negative points assigned if you trainer was hired off the floor and lacks CPR/AED/First Aid qualifications.

 Idiot Guide to Weights

Thankfully this edition comes with photos, after all not everyone has time to spend on stupid things like descriptions or procedures.

The No certification/formal education/on-going education trainer.  You may have a trainer with a broad level of knowledge, yet no papers to back it up…or a trainer with papers and no practical experience.  Personally I would want an educated and credentialed trainer with experience in training others that have the same/similar needs as myself.  Just like I would like a legitimate professional in any other field.

 CPRDoingItWrong

I thought cracked ribs were the worst thing that could happen to me from successful CPR, turns out involuntary gender reassignment is the worst thing.  I’ve got a fiver that say’s the other person inhales instead of exhales as well.

The I’m not CPR/AED/First Aid certified trainer.   Ask to see proof.  If it can’t be produced then do not proceed until it can.   All major credentialing agencies REQUIRE aforementioned certification from a reputable provider (I.E. Not an online course) BEFORE a candidate can sit for their examinations.  A few will allow you to take the test, but will not mail your certificate until you forward a copy of your CPR/AED qualification.   To maintain certification, certified trainers are to complete a certain amount of continuing education credits and maintain CPR/AED qualification.  Some trainers will let their qualifications/credentials lapse, which begs the question (for me at least) what else are they letting lapse?

gym-accidents_banner1

“I thought you had that one bro!….How was I supposed to know overhead lifts would turn you into a little girl?  What do you mean you have a bad rotator cuff?….oh wait, you did tell me you had a bad rotator cuff didn’t you?

 The I have no liability insurance trainer.  Independent trainers only, staff trainers are covered by their gym but can elect to purchase additional coverage.  Ask to see proof.  If it can’t be produced then do not proceed until it can.

fattrainer

I often wondered why a T.G.A.T I worked with always wore a jacket during PT sessions.  Despite his claim of being in a bulking phase I never once saw him eat.  Saw him drink plenty of Monster Energy drinks, but never eat.

The “That guy’s a Trainer?” trainer (aka the Fat Trainer.) Power Lifting coaches, Strongman Event coaches and Striking Padman coaches are exempt.  I am also personally exempting trainers that were previously much fatter and are passing on their dieting/ exercise knowledge to others in the same predicament they went through.  I am talking about your standard personal trainers who dole out workout, dietary and nutrition advice.

skinny

Know-it-all’s come in all shapes, I just thought this was a funny pic.

The other “That guy’s a Trainer?” trainer (aka the no muscles at all trainer.)  I’m exempting the lean physique trainers, the flyweight class combat athletes, gymnasts, speed trainers and smaller sized CrossFit coaches….this is the outright skinny guys that can’t move things that weigh more than they do.

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