Personal Trainers that Suck (Part 2- The rant continues)


Single tool

“All I has is my hammer, but I can use it for cardio, resistance. joint care and flexibility!”

The Singular type of training trainer.   Applicable to commercial gym staff.  Independent trainers can elect to specialize in a singular type of training.  This is a trainer that has a very limited/specified skill set, yet thinks his/her method can be applied to everyone equally, or in the case of a multi-skilled trainer…he/she believes a singular method is the BEST way to service all.  Often that singular method is a current fad.


“Hand me those shake-weights so I can realllllllly blast my kegels...want to make them babies burn!”

If the trainer specializes in bodybuilding then they are best suited for clients that are fit, or near fit that want to pursue bodybuilding.  If the trainer believes a bodybuilding-specific  method can also serve athletic strength and conditioning needs, inclusive fitness for the handicapped  or rehabilitative corrective exercise needs  then they are sorely mistaken.

The Singular workout routine.  Usually the only tool available to a singular skilled trainer, but this is not always the case….it could simply be that your trainer is…..

Merit Badge

I need to get my hands on some of these!


 The Lazy A$$ trainer.  Easy to spot, every place they take their client has something nearby to sit down on, or lean against while counting out your reps.  Granted, there are certain exercises where spotting requires the trainer to sit down and observe you, but those are fairly limited and I can all but guarantee those are not the exercises the trainer is using since they are usually technically complex moves that require demonstration and explanation.

Fit and not so fit

“OK so you’re nearly 30 years older than me, have more than twice my bodyfat, have not exercised since the late 90’s, have diabetes and high cholesterol, a bad knee, a strained lumbar and no tan whatsoever….welll….we are both guys, so I’ll have you do the program I do…it will be cool.”

The Trains you the way they train trainer.  Usually the method the Singular Type of Training Trainer, Lazy A$$ trainer or the Hired off the floor trainer.  The trainers method may have worked wonders for them….you however are a different person entirely.

The No type of screening trainer.  Not covering of your medical history, goals, current nutrition, performing movement screens,  conducting bodyfat composition or researching your prescription medications for exercise induced side-effects is a SERIOUS warning sign.  

(A) The trainer doesn’t know how to screen or what questions to ask.

(B) The trainer doesn’t think screens are important.

(C) The trainer doesn’t care.

(D) All the above, and wouldn’t think to/wouldn’t know when to refer you to a medical professional.


“I have this program at home that will be perfect for you!  If you follow this program 3x per week for 6….make that 12 months you might be ready for the treadmill!”

 The Going nowhere slowly trainer.  Essentially you perform the same workout for very long  periods of time.  No switching of exercises, progression of resistance or protocols.  Under certain exceptions this is perfectly acceptable, namely for lengthy rehab clients,those with very poor motor control skills, cognitive issues or medical conditions.   I would further regard this as acceptable if the client does not train very frequently and misses too many sessions.

van dam lift

(Voice of trainer on the far left)  “C’mon Bro..Lightweight Baby! Lightweight!

The Going nowhere way to fast trainer.  Insisting on progression when regression is clearly called for.  Not sure where the trainer is going with this.  If you are struggling with certain movements/weights and the trainer simply adds more complexity and weight to the situation, are they thinking that this will solve things?


The Machines only training trainer.  Unless your club is equipped without any form of free-weight, your trainer is only creating only local hypertrophy of your muscles.  They are also making their job a lot easier since the machine doesn’t require spotting and they don’t have to fetch weights nor do much in the way of correcting your form.  Matter of fact, they can sit down, count out reps and get in a Facebook post or two.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s